The next few weeks went by, but the pain lingered. I knew Pat was feeling it too. He hadn't stopped by to see Meadow, and I had only run into him coming and going from the studio.
Finally one day I invited him for dinner, telling him that Meadow had been asking for him. He agreed to come; we spent dinner talking about Meadow, work, anything other than our broken relationship.
After dinner I got up to put the dishes in the dishwasher and heard Pat walk up behind me.
"Laura...Laura I miss you so much!", Pat said. "I want to wrap you in my arms and kiss you passionately. I want to spend the night, helping you look after Meadow. I want to be with you both so much!"
Oh my Goth, I could feel myself melting as I always did when Pat was near me. I knew I needed to be resolute. "I miss you too, Pat. More than you know. But if you want to be with us, then you need to leave Julia", I said as calmly as I could manage.
"You know I can't do that!", he exploded.
"I know, Pat", I said softly. "You can't leave Julia and I just can't do this part-time relationship any more. Do you really think it's fair of you to ask that of me?"
He didn't answer, and we stood there just looking at each other with sadness and longing. I knew this was going to be difficult, but I had no idea how much! I wanted him to kiss me and hold me and tell me he was never leaving us. It hurt so much knowing he was choosing Julia over me and Meadow!
Pat turned around and went to the family room to say goodbye to Meadow and I quietly followed.
He picked her up and told her he was leaving. Sweet Meadow whispered loudly in his ear, "I wuv you!".
He hugged her tightly but gently to him. "I love you too, Sweetheart"; he said in a voice that was a little shaky.
Then he handed her to me and left the house without saying another word. Meadow and I stood forlornly in the living room for several minutes in the exact spot where he left us.