The next morning, I had to run off to work so Pat cared for Meadow after awakening.
The movie Pat and I had filmed in Suvadiva had come out to smashing reviews; we were both in high demand as actors and I was able to afford to hire someone to help around the house. But I still hated to leave her with a babysitter every day so Pat helped out when he could. I was glad that he wanted to help and be with Meadow but didn't have much to say to him on that particular morning. The scenes from last night were still a little too raw.
Later after I came home from work, Pat was still there at the house. I asked him how his day with Meadow went and he said everything was great. Then he told me a hilarious story about the maid's reaction when she found him there that morning. "First she seemed really shocked to see me there eating breakfast, then she seemed to get all ticked off about it!", Pat described while laughing. "Maybe because I was dirtying up another plate, I don't know. Funniest thing I've seen all week!"
Pat painted such a visual picture that she could well imagine the maid's reactions. We laughed about it then Pat said he finally had to leave to go home. "I swear", said Pat, "It was funnier than the comedy TV show I was filming the past few weeks!"
Pat kissed me goodbye and left, and I knew that he was trying to cheer me up after the scene I had made the night before. I was a bit embarrassed now that I had even suggested having another baby with him, but I don't know, maybe it was the thought of Meadow's birthday coming up, but I couldn't deny the urge I felt to have another baby. As I took out the trash, I knew his answer clearly said a lot about any possibilities for their future, and that really hurt deeply.
I threw myself into my work, continuing to work hard on advancing in the film career and taking all the fame opportunities I could get.
Pat still came over when he could, but he was also busy with his career and it seemed that he spent the less time with Meadow and I than he used to. I was afraid that letting him know that I wanted to have another baby had put some distance between us. But he did come over on a fairly regular basis, and I was grateful for that. Not just for me, because I selfishly wanted to see him, but for Meadow, too. Sometimes when it had been several days since we'd seen him, rather than to wait for him to call I would take matters into my own hands and invite him over.
I called him one day and asked; "Why don't you come over this evening after attending the theatre? I'll cook you a nice meal; I've been working on my cooking skills". "Sure, I'll come over in a little while" said Pat.
While waiting for Pat to arrive that evening, I started thinking again about my and Meadow's future. "What are we going to do, little one?"; I said to her. "I love him so much, he's the love of my life, but most days I am so lonely. I just hope he shows up this time." Meadow started crying, and before reaching for her I laughed and said "ah, and I see you feel the same way!". What was it they said about 'out of the mouths of babes?, I thought as I took her back upstairs and laid her in her crib.
Pat did indeed show up, to my relief. I thought he looked incredibly handsome and told him so.
But at the same time, my heart was breaking. I was finally coming to the unhappy conclusion that he would never leave his wife.